In the Headlights

Times Square vs. Mars

When Shawn and I were in New York, we were delighted to see the Naked Cowboy in Times Square, in his hat, briefs, boots and guitar.  It was about 30 degrees outside, but he was gamely working the tourists, particularly the women, many of whom wanted a photo op with him.

Shawn sent me this link to a story in the New York Post about Robert Burck, the Cowboy himself, cast as David, battling Goliath.

It seems that Mars, the candy company has a new billboard featuring a blue M&M in hat, boots, tighty whities and guitar.  At first, Burck found it amusing, maybe even flattering, but eventually realized that the company was making money on his invention.  They will duke it out in Manhattan federal court.

I think he's right.  The video billboard shows M&Ms in various tourist spots in New York, but in this case, they have usurped a known character without permission.  I hope he wins.

UPDATE:  The N.Y. Post story was from the 13th.  From the Wall Street Journal Feb. 15:  Mars took down the billboard, after ignoring a cease-and-desist letter filed in January.  Guess they didn't like their chances of winning the suit.

 

       vs

You Say "Elegy", I Say "Eulogy"

When I went for a dance lesson with Tom yesterday, I brought him Naked by David Sedaris.

He was looking at the back cover and said "What does elegiac mean?"

Hoping to bluff, and look smart, I said "Um...'elegy-like'".

"Thank you very much", says he.  "What's an elegy?"

I said, well, like Gray's "Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard." 

"So, then, is it like a eulogy?"

"I don't think so...I don't know" I replied.

A eulogy, or eulogizing, as you know, is saying nice things about somebody after they're dead.  Its origins seem to be Latin, eulogium, and before that, Greek, "eu" or praise, and "logy" or speech.

Now, elegy.  It may be a poem written in a certain kind of couplet, but it is also a song or poem as a lament for a deceased person;  a song or poem of mourning.  It may be from the Phrygian, or back through French and Latin to the Greek "elegeia", or mournful song.

I think the reference in the review of Sedaris's book meant that he was looking back at the past, some at his mother, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in one of the stories.  Modern elegies may be written out of a broad sense of loss and metaphysical sadness.

[Image link here]

Bent Objects

Deb sent us the link to this great site, Bent Objects.

Terry Border is the still-life artist who created these mini-masterpieces.

Check out his site.  And in 2009, buy his book:  Bent Objects:  The Secret Live of Everyday Things.  It can't help being wonderful.

It can't help being wonderful.

 

Extreme Sports

The other day, my friend Kitty told me to make sure I checked the interoffice mail.  In there, I found an innocuous-looking oversized envelope, and inside it I found a book of Dell Extreme Sudoku puzzles.

These cool puzzles require that you not only have every digit from one to 9 in the horizontal rows, the vertical rows, and the internal nine-square boxes, you also have to have those digits on the long diagonals of the puzzle.

At first this intimidated me.  I thought it would be another chance to make mistakes, but it has not turned out that way. Often, filling in the diagonal gives you more clues to the right number, and turns out to be a benefit. I've had the weekend to work on them, and do well with the easy and medium ones, but the hard ones tend to throw me.  I've completed a couple of them, but have several unfinished ones taunting me.

When I googled "extreme sudoku", I got a bunch of links to difficult puzzles, but I think the way to be sure you are getting the puzzles which define these as having solvable diagonal rows as well is to buy them from Dell.

The link above has a hard puzzle for you to try.

I'm Late

I'm late!
I'm late!
For a very important date!
No time to say "hello", goodbye!
I'm late!
I'm late!
I'm late!

I run and then I hop, hop, hop!
I wish that I could fly
There's danger if I dare to stop
And here's the reason why

You see, I'm overdue, I'm in a rabbit stew,
Can't even stop to say "goodbye"
I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.

I'm off to see the Queen of Hearts
Who lives up in the palace,
And the very moment I'm through with her,
I've got a date with Alice.
I can't be late for Alice.

Or the Queen of Hearts who lives up in the palace.

You see, I'm overdue,
I'm in a rabbit stew,
Can't even stop to say "goodbye"
I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!

I'm running late, and when I am, this song frequently pops into my head.  Those who know me might surmise that this song is therefore on a constant feed loop through my head.  You might be right.  Which could explain a lot.

I also frequently feel as if I've gone down the rabbit hole with Alice, but that's another issue entirely.

The White Rabbit from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland sings this song as he looks at his pocket watch.  My brothers and I heard it a lot growing up.  My Dad had made a few reel-to-reel tapes of songs for us, and they were pretty much always playing.  This song, sung by the late Danny Kaye was on one of them.  It's from the Disney movie "Alice in Wonderland."

[Image from Lenny's Alice in Wonderland site]

By the way, did you know that Lewis Carroll's real name was the Reverend Charles Dodgson?

The Truth is Stranger than Fiction

At least in country music.

Dee Ray sent me this list of a dozen song titles.  I thought they were amusing, then realized they were REAL!  Now that's amusing.

For a real comprehensive list, go to Pete Levin's Wacky (but hip) Actual C&W Song Titles.

Meanwhile, here's Dee's list:

I Hate Every Bone in Her Body but Mine

It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night that Chewed My Ass All Day

If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know it's Me

I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well

I Still Miss You, Baby, but My Aim's Getting Better

I Wouldn't Take Her to a Dog Fight, 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

I'll Marry You Tomorrow, but Let's Honeymoon Tonight

I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like You're Still Here

If I'd Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd be Out of Prison by Now

My Wife Ran Off with My Best Friend, and I Sure Miss Him

She Got the Ring, and I Got the Finger

And some favorite's of Red's

Thank God and Greyhound, You're gone

How Can I Miss You when You Won't Go Away

She Got the Gold Mine, I Got the Shaft

Michael Feldman Rocks!

Yesterday, I wrote about what I did Friday, so it's only fitting that today, Sunday, I'd tell you about Saturday, February 2, the day Michael Feldman brought his "Whad 'Ya Know?" to the Florida Theater.  This beautiful old theater is listed in the National Register of Historic Places, and has been an entertainment venue since 1927.

Saturday is my favorite day for listening to WJCT, NPR's local station.  It starts with Car Talk, going into "Wait..Wait, Don't Tell Me", then Michael Feldman, followed by "This American Life".  A great broadcasting day.

As a First Coast Society member, I got advance notice to the live radio performance, followed by a VIP reception.  I ordered two tickets as soon as I made sure I could clear my schedule for that day.

One of my dance instructors, Tom, who is an NPR fan, had a birthday the end of January, and I asked him if he wanted to see Michael Feldman as his birthday present. Which is how we found ourselves driving the one-way streets of downtown Jacksonville in a nearly futile search for a parking spot.  We finally pulled into a lot that charged $10, and still left me holding a citation after the show.  We had to stand in line (a long line) to pay by credit card.  I had to key in the parking space number, and then the display said "take receipt".  So I grabbed the receipt and we went to the theater.  I totally missed the small print that said "display on dashboard."  Oh well.  Calling to contest it will give me something to do the next time I have a couple of free hours.

Our seats were in the second row, directly behind three seats that were no-shows.  Or they hadn't sold them.  I don't know, all I know is that there was no one sitting in front of us.  The stage in that beautiful old theater was liberally decorated with Florida memorabilia, including a sunbathing pig, a stuffed emu, and some gator stuff.

Feldman, who looks just like he sounds, warmed the audience up starting about 15 minutes before program time.  He seemed to genuinely enjoy himself, which made it lots of fun for the audience.  He wore a U of Florida Gator shirt, which delighted about half of those present.  He sang "Don't be Cruel".  (The Florida Theater was the site of one of Elvis Presley's first shows.)  He had a good time, we had a good time.  Announcer Jim Packard later got to try singing a bit of Elvis, fortunately during a station break, when we were not actually on the air.  When he asked "Whad 'ya know?" we were instructed to respond "Not much, Y'ALL"

The contestant taking the quiz was smart and funny as well, though she showed some of the oblivion these contestants do demonstrate...an inability to recognize when Feldman is trying hard to steer them to the right answer.  Ultimately, they did fine and won the prize.

Then he walked around the aisles interviewing random folks, and answering questions that had been submitted by the audience.

He interviewed Mark Woods, columnist for the Florida Times-Union, mostly about the recent political primary.  Later he interviewed a J.T. Touchstone, a young man whose job it is to capture nuisance alligators.  It was interesting to note that he had all his arms, legs and fingers.  He was pretty young, though.  He said the biggest gator he'd caught was about 13' long, and that he then skins the gator, and takes the head, feet and meat to sell.  When asked about the feet, he said they are used to make back-scratchers.  That'd be a nice little conversation piece.

His last interview was with Joan Peoples, an owner of Clark's Fish Camp, who admitted that she probably bought alligator meat from the previous guest.  She brough samples of rattlesnake, gator, eel and antelope for Feldman to try.  He nibbled, but Clyde Stubblefield left his drum set to come forward and sample most of the delicacies, though none with huge enthusiasm.  Plates of tidbits were passed around the first few rows.

A musical interlude by local songstress Rebecca Zapen was a wonderful surprise.  She is a classically trained violinist with a sweet, pure, clear voice.  She and her band did a couple of numbers, the second of which she wrote about her sister, Andrea.

The second quiz contestant was a guy with two first names  (Tony? Steve), who is a musician, and in fact had been a studio musician for Rebecca Zapen's first album.  Fate or coincidence.  You decide.  He was also pretty entertaining, and he and his telephone partner did well on the quiz.

Afterward, we went upstairs to a very nice reception buffet, with a variety of salad and sandwich offerings.  Dessert was goodies from Peterbrooke Chocolatiers.  So good.  I had a big chunk of their chocolate-covered popcorn.  To die for.  Chased down with a couple of good lagers. 

What a great way to spend a day.

Come again, Michael Feldman!

[Image of Feldman and guest from a previous show at the University of Iowa]

Dancing with the Local Stars

Friday, I drove down to St. Augustine, found The Fountain of Youth, and attended "Dancing With the Local Stars".  They had competitions and heats during the day, but I went down for the show portion.

It was presented by A Social Affair Dance Studios, Inc., and was a fund raiser for the Donna Hicken Foundation, which benefits victims of breast cancer.  The local stars were Cesar Perales, Jr., George Gardner, Michelle Reyna, George Mastoridis, Karen Harvey, Jan Crawford and Rebecca Faunce Rubino, dancing with instructors Rebecca Ovadia, Stephen White and Muhidin Divovic.  I hate to admit that I didn't know any of the local stars, but then I don't live in St. Augustine.  And I don't watch TV much.  That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.  Considering the stars only had a couple of months to learn routines in three different styles of dancing, I have to say they impressed the heck out of me.  Muhidin (Muki) and his partner cleaned up during the awards.  He was my instructor a few times in my early dance lesson days (he now teaches at one of the other A Social Affair studios).  He's an excellent teacher.

The $75 tickets included a couple of drinks and heavy (I mean heavy!) appetizers, and general dancing between competitive heats. The A Social Affair Formation Team put on a complex synchronized dance number. There was a door prize for those with the pink sticker on the back of their chairs:  Donna Hicken's book, The Good Fight.  I won it!  I'm not known for winning things (except, remind me one day to tell you about carrying home the 20-lb. turkey I won in a raffle in the seventh grade), so it was pretty exciting.

It was a nice dance floor, a good band and a great show.  The only downside?  It was in a large, comfortable tent with a dirt floor.  I was wearing three-inch heels.  So every time I stood up, I'd sink to my heels in the dirt.  Likewise, my folding chair tended to sink a bit when I sat down. Not a reflection of my mass, I hope.  But that's a quibble.  All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable evening, and for a good cause, to boot!

Hairspray

While Julie was here, we spent a couple of evenings watching the movie "Hairspray." We got halfway through it the first night, and were practically comatose, so we finished it the second night.  We both felt the second half was better than the first.

I hadn't seen it before, though remember that it was a John Waters (starring Divine) cult classic years ago, and then somehow became a Broadway hit, then a well-regarded movie.

Everything in this movie is, no pun intended, larger than life.  Nikki Blonsky is a charmer as Tracy Turnblad.  Her parents are John Travolta as her mother, Edna, and the increasingly weird (is that even possible?) Christopher Walken as her dad, Wilbur.  The cast is filled out with such standouts as Queen Latifah, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Amanda Bynes and Brittany Snow.

It's hard to take your eyes off the screen as wild scene follows wild scene.  LOTS of music and dance sequences.  Traci is an overweight teen with a boufant flip who dreams of getting on the Corny Collins Show, Baltimore's teen dance show, which features a weekly "Negro Day."

She achieves her dream, and competes for the title of Miss Teenage Hairspray (sponsored by Ultra-Clutch spray...As Corny famously says, "you look like you could use a stiff one.")

Tracy's rival is Amber Von Tussle, blonde diva from the Corny Collins Show, and former beauty queen Velma Von Tussle's  (Michelle Pfeiffer) daughter. 

(It was good to see Snow again.  I remember her fondly from a show Red and I used to watch, "American Dreams."  I thought she was a fine actress in a fine show at the time.)

Tracy's focus shifts when Negro Day is cancelled, and she takes part in a march for equality.  Everything crescendos at the pageant, which is hilarious.

At the end, when Travolta's Edna overcomes her shyness to take to the stage and strut her ample stuff, I was so hoping he/she would strike a couple of Saturday Night Live poses.  It would have been so right.  Sadly, I waited in vain.

The bottom line is that we really enjoyed the show, which only got better as it went on.

The Glass is Half Full

I've been having a stressful week.  I was in the office today dealing with potential disgruntled postal workers (figure of speech, but  you know...) when my secretary came in and dropped this on my desk.  The first part is sort of pop-psych.  The others are pretty funny, mostly familiar, a couple I hadn't heard.  All of it is edited to my taste.

*********

A lecturere explaining stress management raised a glass of water and asked "how heavy is this glass of water?"

After getting a few dumb answers, he told the audience that it doesn't matter.  What matters is how long you hold it.

If you hold it for a minute, no problema.
For an hour, it makes your arm ache.
A day and you'll call an ambulance.
A lifetime...oh, wait, he didn't say that.
In each case, the weight is the same, but the longer you hold it, the heavier it becomes.

"And that's the way it is with stress management.  If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it up again.  When you're refreshed, you can carry on with the burden."

He added that before going home from work, you should put the burden of work down;  don't carry it home.  You can pick it back up tomorrow.

Meanwhile, you can kick the jerk out for a few hours.  Oh, wait, that's not what he said.

**********

I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing.  Usually when I go home, I blog or cook or watch a bit of TV or a movie, or read, and forget about the day.  I have colleagues who can't let it go, and every day, I look at them and wonder how they get themselves so stressed, if they're going to have an early heart attack or stroke.

I try not to add to their stress. Really.  But you don't even have to try.  They seem to interpret everything as a stressor.

***********

So here are a few platitudes that sound deep, even if they're not.

-Accept that somedays you are the pigeon/windshield, some days the statue/bug.
-Always keep your words soft and sweet, in case you have to eat them. (What if you love sauerbraten and red cabbage?)
-Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
-Drive carefully.  It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker. (That's deep.)
-If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
-If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
-It may be your sole purpose in life to be kind to others. (I hope not.  I'm not Ghandi.)
-Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because you won't have a leg to stand on.
-Nobody cares if you can't dance well.  Just get up and dance.  (I'm working on it.)
-Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late. (I don't have that option, darn it.)
-The second mouse gets the cheese.
-When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
-Birthdays are good for you.  The more you have, the longer you live.
And my personal favorite

-Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

[Image from www.commons.wikimedia.org .  Photo by Derek Jensen.]