In the Headlights

Guys Rule

RR sent us these "Guy Rules", since we always hear the rules from the female side.  Here's the guy version.  Note that each rule is numbered "1". These are very true, and very funny. My comments in parentheses.

1.  Men are not mind readers.  (I knew that.  See number 1, below.)

1.  Learn to work the toilet seat.  You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.  We need it up.  You need it down.  You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.  (Yes, but what's the worst that can happen if you use the toilet with the seat up.  You get pee on the seat.  Guess who cleans it up.  For us, the worst is the shock of sitting on cold porcelain in the middle of the night.  That's why we complain.)

1. Sunday sports.  It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.  Let it be.  (and Monday, and Tuesday...etc.)

1.  Shopping is not a sport.  And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1.  Crying is blackmail.  (Just think of the power.  Men should try it some time.)

1.  Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on this one:  Subtle hints do not work!  Strong hints do not work!  Obvious hints do not work!  Just say it!

1.  "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1.  Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.  That's what we do.  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.  (I once complained to my husband about a coworker who was giving me problems.  He told me to get him on the stairs and push him down them.  I don't know if he meant it or not, but it was the last time I whined to him about stuff like that.)

1.  A headached that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.

1.  Anything we said six months ago is inadmissable in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.  (Not so.  I could remember things from decades ago. Vividly, and get mad about them all over again.)

1.  If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1.  If you think you're fat, you probably are.  Don't ask us.

1.  If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant it the other way. (I like that.)

1.  You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done.  Not both.

1.  If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1.  Whenever possible, please say what you have to say during the commercials.

1.  Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1.  All men see in only 16 colors, like the Windows default setting.  Peach, for example is a fruit, not a color.  Pumpkin is also a fruit.  We have no idea what mauve is.

1.  If it itches, it will be scratched.  We do that.

1.  If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong.  We know you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

1.  If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. (My husband used to say "Don't ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer.  I hated that line with all my heart."

1.  When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.  Really.

1.  Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss sex, cars, the shotgun formation or basketball.

1.  You have enough clothes.

1.  You have too many shoes.

1.  I am in shape.  Round is a shape.

Thanks for reading this.  Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know that men don't really mind that?  It's like camping.

[Illustration from Epiphyte book review]

Speaking of Wine

We've all heard wine experts describe a wine they just tasted.  Once in a while, if I am tasting too, I can maybe discern a hint of what they are talking about:  fruity, citrus, floral, earthy, melon, peach, leather.

I'm not so sure I want to try the ones described as "pencil lead," "steely," "volatile," "sulfur," "hot," or "chemical." But I can't wait to drop those terms into a conversation.

These terms and their definitions as well as many more are from the Publix Wine Guide website.

In addition, if you live in Alabama, Florida, Georgia or South Carolina, you can subscribe to their quarterly wine magazine Publix Grape.  It's free.

This month you can learn the pros and cons of stemless wine glasses.  No doubt you have seen these stemless goblets in just about every kitchenware or housewares magazine.  After reading this, I decided I don't need them:

Pros:
-Diswasher safe for easy cleaning
-Easier to store than stemmed glasses
-Interchangeable for other beverages
-Hip, fun look
-Unpretentious

Cons:
-Less elegant appearance
-Can't always get the properly shaped glass with every stemless brand, so miss some of the flavor and aroma nuances.
-No stem means handling the bowl and heating the wine with your hands
Larger bowls for reds are awkward for smaller hands to hold
Swirling is more of a challenge

Or browse these articles about wine.

[Illustration from Barrington Gifts]

Living Will is the Best Revenge

A few days ago, I did a tongue-in-cheek post about Maxine's Living Will.

But for all of that, I firmly believe everyone should have one, and each should make his or her views as clear as possible. 

G.W. sent us this link to a Values History Form.  This form includes a lot of questions about values and desires, gradually working up to preferences about death and dying.  I think it is a useful adjunct to the Living Will, and may make it easier for families to accept a dying family member's  desires.  It includes sections on relationships, living environment and religious background and beliefs.  The actual form begins about halfway down the linked page.

Having a living will (advance health care directive) is critical.  We all watched the plight of Terri Schiavo with horror as family, religious groups and politicians all used her for their own ends.  I hope this led each of you to make a living will, and to give a copy to your doctor, lawyer, family members and hospital.

If not, you can make one and print it at this site, which has state-specific living will forms. Or you can use the U.S. Living Will Registry, through which you can make your living will and have it available to select individuals when it is needed.  Just make sure those individuals know you have done this, or they won't know where to look.

Just do it.  You'll feel better after it's done.

[Image from Wikipedia]

Hurricane Preparedness

As I wait for Tropical Storm Ernesto to dump a load of rain on us, I am reminded that a couple of years ago, storms with 45-mile-an-hour winds knocked the power out for days by dropping tree limbs on all the power lines.

So, am I ready?  Let's see.

Generator:  has a gas leak.  Needs repair.

Batteries:  Plenty of AA's.  None for the flashlights.

Chain saw:  Yeah, but fortunately I probably can't start the brute.

Canned goods:  A pantry full of odds and ends.

Gas for the grill:  I think there's a spare tank in the garage.  Hope it's full.

Water:  I'm on well water, and that goes out as soon as the electricity does. Fortunaterly, if the water goes, I have a nice list of potables to make the pain go away:

*     *     *     *     *

Hurricane Preparedness:  Help for Family and Friends in the Danger Zone

MANDATORY EVACUATION

1 1/2 oz. Absolute Ruby Red vodka

1/2 oz. vermouth

Clamato

Prune juice

Combine vodka and vermouth in cocktail glass. Fill remainder of glass with equal parts Clamato and prune juice. Stir. Drink. Ask next-door neighbor whose fichus tree blew over and crashed onto your roof - even though you'd warned him for months to uproot it - if you can use his bathroom. Repeat.

============================================================

CATEGORY 5

1/2 oz. vodka

1/2 oz. tequila

1/2 oz. rum

1/2 oz. bourbon

1/2 oz. gin

Sweet-and-sour mix

Splash of fruit juice

Combine vodka, tequila, rum, bourbon and gin in a tall glass. Fill remainder of glass with sweet-and-sour mix and splash of juice. Stir, then garnish with an inverted drink umbrella. Drink during peak storm hours, and vow not to believe anyone who tries to tell you the hurricane that flooded your garage and destroyed your shed was just a Category 1.

============================================================

CONE OF PROBABILITY

1 oz. cinnamon schnapps

1 sugar cone

Pour the schnapps into the sugar cone. Every time you hear a TV weatherman say, "cone of probability," bite off the end of the cone and down the shot.

If you hear Jim Cantore say it, drink two shots consecutively. (they should change this to the "Cantore Zone"... damn him. Have you ever noticed that, despite all the cone of probability talk, if Cantore is parked in front of your house your ass is toast?)

============================================================

FEEDER BAND

2 oz. Midori

2 oz. rum

1 scoop

vanilla ice cream

After your home loses power, combine Midori and rum in a cocktail glass.

Add a scoop of the vanilla ice cream that is melting in your freezer. Stir and drink through a straw.

============================================================

BEACH EROSION

1 1/2 oz. Goldschläger

1 1/2 oz. apple brandy

1 pack Sugar in the Raw

Combine Goldschläger, apple brandy and sugar in cocktail glass. As you drink, seriously contemplate moving your Yankee ass back to

New Jersey

where it belongs.

============================================================

DOWNED POWER LINE

1 1/2 oz. rum

5 oz. Jolt Cola

Combine ingredients in a cocktail glass. Drink while trying to figure out how the heck you're supposed to go two freakin' weeks without television and AC.

============================================================

FLOOD ZONE

2 oz. Kahlúa

2 oz. Baileys Irish cream

4 oz. rum

Serve in a 6-ounce glass and laugh-cry deliriously as the mess spills all over the countertop.

============================================================

COLD SHOWER

2 oz. Blue Aftershock

4 oz. Sprite

Combine in a cocktail glass with crushed ice you received after waiting in line for three hours at a mall parking lot. Take a deep breath, sip and scream like a little girl when the cold beverage hits your tongue. Repeat.

============================================================

LOOTERS WILL BE SHOT

1 oz. Jack Daniel's

Splash of sarsaparilla

Rock salt

Load both barrels of a shotgun with rock salt. Climb to the roof of your house with gun, bottle of Jack Daniel's and can of sarsaparilla. Fill shot glass with Jack and splash of sarsaparilla. Watch for looters. When you spot one, blast his ass with rock salt. Drink shot. Repeat.

============================================================

THE CHAIN SAW

1 oz. Goldschläger

1 oz. Rumplemintz

3 oz. Jim Beam

Splash of vermouth

Combine Goldschläger, Rumplemintz and Jim Beam in an empty soup can. Add splash of vermouth. Drink. Remove chain saw from garage and attempt to cut up fallen tree limbs in yard. Ask neighbor to drive you to hospital when it all goes horribly wrong.

============================================================

FOUR-WAY STOP

1 1/2 oz. vodka

1 1/2 oz. vodka and Midori

1 1/2 oz. vodka and Galliano

1 1/2 oz. vodka and grenadine

Pour each ingredient into a separate shot glass. Serve one to yourself and three other people. The person with the clear shot of vodka drinks first.

The person to his right drinks the Midori shot, and so on. If somebody drinks out of order, develop a quick case of road rage and beat the living crap out of him.

============================================================

BLUE TARP

1 1/2 oz.

Curacao

2 oz. pineapple juice

Splash of lime

Combine ingredients in a leaky paper cup and serve. Wait six to eight months for someone to repair the cup. If you're impatient, hire an unlicensed, out-of-state contractor to do the job for an exorbitant sum and pray he doesn't hurt himself in the process.

[Thanks, T.H.]

The Best of In the Headlights: the Early Days

Here's the 5 PM Anniversary Post.  It's about my favorite on-line kitchenware shot.  It also includes a great recipe for fantastic bread made in a Romertopf clay roaster.

Some other post titles from that first week:

Crosswords
Patricia Cornwell
Cedar Hill Sanctuary
Prairie Home Movie
Needlepoint
Lord of the Flies
Why General Anesthesia is Better
A Festival I'd Like to Attend
Evacuations
On Haggis
Music, Radio and MP3
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

It was fun going through some of those old posts.  Meanwhile, here is today's 5 PM revival.  In reality, it is a little after 9 AM, and I am done for the day.  Woohoo!

Fante's Kitchenwares

Next time you are looking for a hard-to-find kitchen item, why not check out Fante's Kitchenware Shop.  You are almost guaranteed to leave having ordered more than you were looking for.  But hey, that's a good thing, 'cause you'll have it when you need it.

Fantes is an actual store in Philadelphia, and their site includes maps, traffic tips, weather tips and sightseeing recommendations, just for starters.  The kitcheware section has everything from Aebleskiver pans to zesters, passing through truffle slicers and Mongolian fire pots.  They have tutorials on how to use the equipment, and, of course, great recipes.  So if you really want to surprise the chef in your family, look here for some neat thing they never knew they couldn't live without (besides you).

A few years ago, just about everyone I knew got a Romertopf terracotta roaster for Christmas, after I discovered  how delicious and crispy bread was when made in this baker. I was unable to find them in the size I wanted anywhere else. You soak the pot it in water first, and that crisps up the dough so it comes out soft and moist on the inside and crispy on the outside.  The dough is really easy too--just mix everything together, no kneading or pounding...yum...I think it's time I made some again...(see recipe below).

In addition, they carry my favorite wine stopper.  You slip it over the top of the wine bottle, and when you press the lever down, the inner rubber collar expands to form a tight seal.  I love wine, but no, I don't drink a bottle in one sitting.  This stopper actually allows you to put the bottle on its side (in that thing in your refrigerator designed just for that, that otherwise just occupies space nothing else will fit in).  No leaks, ever, and I have had mine for several years.  $3.49 at Fantes.

And if you love your knives, they carry several lines of premium knives. One of the neat things here, though is the Fante's Pro line of knives.  They have the same high carbon steel composition and Rockwell hardness scale as the Wusthoff Classic line, riveted handles and are also made in Solingen, Germany.  So if you are a Henckel's or Wusthof fan, your money will go a lot farther, and you will be just as happy with a set of Fante's knives.

Well, I could go on and on, but that's enough for now.  You'll just have to check it out and find out for yourself.

Just try not to get too carried away.

Bread recipe-adapted from Julian Street's French Brick-oven Bread (in The Clay-Pot Cookbook, by Georgia MacLeod Sales & Grover Sales)

Combine 1/2 cup of milk and 1 1/4  cup of water, add 1 1/2 tbsp. vegetable shortening, and microwave until lukewarm.  Add 1 1/2 tbsp. sugar, and 1 package of yeast, and allow to start frothing while you put 4 cups of all-purpose flour  (room temperature, otherwise, stick that in the microwave to take the chill off) and 2 tsp. salt in a large bowl.

  Add liquids to the flour mix and stir thoroughly.  Do not knead.  Place dough in a well greased bowl (I usually leave it in the same bowl--the shortening keeps it from sticking too badly, and you will shape it after you take it out anyway). Cover with a damp cloth and place in a warm spot until doubled in bulk.

Soak clay pot or pots (do you want one big loaf or two small ones?) in warm water for about 15 minutes.  Place a piece of folded and flattened aluminum foil in the bottom of the pan to keep the bread from sticking on the ridges.  Put the dough in the soaked pot, tuck the rough side on the bottom, smooth side up.  Put the lid on and allow to sit until doubled in bulk, about 1 hour.

Put the covered pot in a cold oven, and turn the temperature to 525 degrees (yes, 525, not a typo).  Bake for 45 minutes, removing the lid for the last 5 minutes to form a golden-brown crust. The hardest thing is to pull the aluminum foil out of the bottom of the loaf before serving, but it is better than not using it at all. Serve with butter, or jam, or cheese, and see if it lasts more than a day.

[Cake Illustration from Media Orchard by The Idea Grove]

Next time you are looking for a hard-to-find kitchen item, why not check out Fante's Kitchenware Shop.  You are almost guaranteed to leave having ordered more than you were looking for.  But hey, that's a good thing, 'cause you'll have it when you need it.

Fantes is an actual store in Philadelphia, and their site includes maps, traffic tips, weather tips and sightseeing recommendations, just for starters.  The kitcheware section has everything from Aebleskiver pans to zesters, passing through truffle slicers and Mongolian fire pots.  They have tutorials on how to use the equipment, and, of course, great recipes.  So if you really want to surprise the chef in your family, look here for some neat thing they never knew they couldn't live without (besides you).

A few years ago, just about everyone I knew got a Romertopf terracotta roaster for Christmas, after I discovered  how delicious and crispy bread was when made in this baker. I was unable to find them in the size I wanted anywhere else. You soak the pot it in water first, and that crisps up the dough so it comes out soft and moist on the inside and crispy on the outside.  The dough is really easy too--just mix everything together, no kneading or pounding...yum...I think it's time I made some again...(see recipe below).

In addition, they carry my favorite wine stopper.  You slip it over the top of the wine bottle, and when you press the lever down, the inner rubber collar expands to form a tight seal.  I love wine, but no, I don't drink a bottle in one sitting.  This stopper actually allows you to put the bottle on its side (in that thing in your refrigerator designed just for that, that otherwise just occupies space nothing else will fit in).  No leaks, ever, and I have had mine for several years.  $3.49 at Fantes.

And if you love your knives, they carry several lines of premium knives. One of the neat things here, though is the Fante's Pro line of knives.  They have the same high carbon steel composition and Rockwell hardness scale as the Wusthoff Classic line, riveted handles and are also made in Solingen, Germany.  So if you are a Henckel's or Wusthof fan, your money will go a lot farther, and you will be just as happy with a set of Fante's knives.

Well, I could go on and on, but that's enough for now.  You'll just have to check it out and find out for yourself.

Just try not to get too carried away.

Bread recipe-adapted from Julian Street's French Brick-oven Bread (in The Clay-Pot Cookbook, by Georgia MacLeod Sales & Grover Sales)

Combine 1/2 cup of milk and 1 1/4  cup of water, add 1 1/2 tbsp. vegetable shortening, and microwave until lukewarm.  Add 1 1/2 tbsp. sugar, and 1 package of yeast, and allow to start frothing while you put 4 cups of all-purpose flour  (room temperature, otherwise, stick that in the microwave to take the chill off) and 2 tsp. salt in a large bowl.

  Add liquids to the flour mix and stir thoroughly.  Do not knead.  Place dough in a well greased bowl (I usually leave it in the same bowl--the shortening keeps it from sticking too badly, and you will shape it after you take it out anyway). Cover with a damp cloth and place in a warm spot until doubled in bulk.

Soak clay pot or pots (do you want one big loaf or two small ones?) in warm water for about 15 minutes.  Place a piece of folded and flattened aluminum foil in the bottom of the pan to keep the bread from sticking on the ridges.  Put the dough in the soaked pot, tuck the rough side on the bottom, smooth side up.  Put the lid on and allow to sit until doubled in bulk, about 1 hour.

Put the covered pot in a cold oven, and turn the temperature to 525 degrees (yes, 525, not a typo).  Bake for 45 minutes, removing the lid for the last 5 minutes to form a golden-brown crust. The hardest thing is to pull the aluminum foil out of the bottom of the loaf before serving, but it is better than not using it at all. Serve with butter, or jam, or cheese, and see if it lasts more than a day.

[Cake Illustration from Media Orchard by The Idea Grove]

Comfort Foods, Second Time Around

Well, it seems I have achieved a milestone of sorts.  A year ago today, at 1 PM, my first post went up.  This is my 758th post in that time.  I've had over 760 comments and over 36,000 hits.  And yes, I'm counting my own blog checks, so I've probably really had in the neighborhood of 5,000 hits.  But still.

I needn't tell you that it is also the anniversary of Katrina's hitting the Gulf Coast and New Orleans. Coincidence?  I don't know.   I didn't plan it that way.  I had nothing to do with Katrina, she acted on her own.

In honor of the anniversary (of my blog), I am taking the day off and resurrecting a couple of posts from my first week of blogging.  This is my very first.  In the future, I will occasionally redo recipe blogs from the early weeks, when readership was scant and I wasn't involved in the Carnival of the Recipes.  I posted some of my all-time favorites those first weeks.

If you want to read any of those early posts, you can click on archives and the week of August 28.

Without further ado, here's the first:

I come from a family of good cooks.  My maternal grandmother was half French and half Belgian; my mom grew up in Frankfurt, Germany.  Me, I'm a mutt, but like to think I learned the best these wonderful women could teach me.  This recipe has been in the top two or three requests at every family get-together, and makes me popular, at least for a while, if I offer to cook.

Macaroni and Cheese Casserole. Caveat Emptor: If your arteries are hard, don't even think about it. 

Start with equal weights of macaroni, rigatoni, ziti or other pasta with holes, and cheese.   I.e., one lb. of cellentani gets one lb. of cheese.  When we were kids, Mom would send us to the store to get cheese ends from the deli.  The guy at the counter would save the ends and we'd get a bag full of cheese of all kinds, take it home, grate it and make this dish.  From scratch, I make this dish with emmenthaler or Austrian Swiss (? oxymoron, all you teachers out there?) mixed with gruyere. 

Put a big pot of salted water on the stove to boil, and while it boils and the pasta cooks to al dente, grate the cheese and grease a baking dish. 

Here is my cheese grater.  It makes short work of grating any kind of cheese, including Parmigiano Reggiano and other hard, crumbly cheeses.  In fact, at my house, when the grater is washed, it goes right back on the mixer. Using any other kind of grater, it is a good policy to have your kids or husband grate the cheese for you.

Meanwhile, grease a casserole dish.  If you use a deep one, you will get a moist, rich result, a shallow one results in a crusty, equally delicious dish. You can grease the dish with butter which adds a dimension, or chicken out an put a thin layer of oil over the surface. 

When the pasta is al dente, drain it.  Put about 1/3 of it in the baking dish, and cover with 1/3 of the cheese.  Repeat X 2.  Dot about 2 tbsp. butter around the top, and pour a cup of heavy cream over the top.  Bake it at 325 degrees for about an hour (or until golden brown on top--less time for a shallow casserole).  If baked too fast, the cream doesn't evaporate, and you don't get those coveted cheese strings. 

When we were kids, Mom would put a layer of spinach or broccoli in the middle (to make us eat our vegetables), and would slice a can of Spam and put a layer under the top layer of cheese.  I have to tell you, it was heaven...Serve with:

Basic Tomato Sauce

This sauce doesn't have to simmer, so you can make it in 10 minutes.  In a saute pan, heat about 2 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil to medium temperature.  Add a minced shallot, or two cloves garlic, minced, and stir until translucent, but not yet turning brown.  Add a large (14 oz.) can of diced plum tomatoes.  Season with salt, pepper, and fresh basil and oregano.  Serve on the side with the casserole.

Variations are endless. 

-Adding a little heavy cream to this sauce makes an elegant blush sauce to serve over plain pasta. 

-Sauteed pancetta or chopped bacon, lightly browned and drained before adding the shallot or garlic, also makes a very nice, robust sauce for a main dish.

-Reducing the sauce (made with garlic) by about 1/3, then adding  1/2 cup vodka, allowing that to cook off and then adding 1/2 to 1 cup heavy cream makes a quick and delicious sauce for one lb. pasta.  This should be served with generous amounts of grated parmigiano on the side (yeah, yeah, I mean Reggiano).

Happy eating. Then happy exercising.  And happy dieting.  Really, this is a once-in-a-while dish.

[Balloons from Network Resources}

I come from a family of good cooks.  My maternal grandmother was half French and half Belgian; my mom grew up in Frankfurt, Germany.  Me, I'm a mutt, but like to think I learned the best these wonderful women could teach me.  This recipe has been in the top two or three requests at every family get-together, and makes me popular, at least for a while, if I offer to cook.

Macaroni and Cheese Casserole. Caveat Emptor: If your arteries are hard, don't even think about it. 

Start with equal weights of macaroni, rigatoni, ziti or other pasta with holes, and cheese.   I.e., one lb. of cellentani gets one lb. of cheese.  When we were kids, Mom would send us to the store to get cheese ends from the deli.  The guy at the counter would save the ends and we'd get a bag full of cheese of all kinds, take it home, grate it and make this dish.  From scratch, I make this dish with emmenthaler or Austrian Swiss (? oxymoron, all you teachers out there?) mixed with gruyere. 

Put a big pot of salted water on the stove to boil, and while it boils and the pasta cooks to al dente, grate the cheese and grease a baking dish. 

Here is my cheese grater.  It makes short work of grating any kind of cheese, including Parmigiano Reggiano and other hard, crumbly cheeses.  In fact, at my house, when the grater is washed, it goes right back on the mixer. Using any other kind of grater, it is a good policy to have your kids or husband grate the cheese for you.

Meanwhile, grease a casserole dish.  If you use a deep one, you will get a moist, rich result, a shallow one results in a crusty, equally delicious dish. You can grease the dish with butter which adds a dimension, or chicken out an put a thin layer of oil over the surface. 

When the pasta is al dente, drain it.  Put about 1/3 of it in the baking dish, and cover with 1/3 of the cheese.  Repeat X 2.  Dot about 2 tbsp. butter around the top, and pour a cup of heavy cream over the top.  Bake it at 325 degrees for about an hour (or until golden brown on top--less time for a shallow casserole).  If baked too fast, the cream doesn't evaporate, and you don't get those coveted cheese strings. 

When we were kids, Mom would put a layer of spinach or broccoli in the middle (to make us eat our vegetables), and would slice a can of Spam and put a layer under the top layer of cheese.  I have to tell you, it was heaven...Serve with:

Basic Tomato Sauce

This sauce doesn't have to simmer, so you can make it in 10 minutes.  In a saute pan, heat about 2 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil to medium temperature.  Add a minced shallot, or two cloves garlic, minced, and stir until translucent, but not yet turning brown.  Add a large (14 oz.) can of diced plum tomatoes.  Season with salt, pepper, and fresh basil and oregano.  Serve on the side with the casserole.

Variations are endless. 

-Adding a little heavy cream to this sauce makes an elegant blush sauce to serve over plain pasta. 

-Sauteed pancetta or chopped bacon, lightly browned and drained before adding the shallot or garlic, also makes a very nice, robust sauce for a main dish.

-Reducing the sauce (made with garlic) by about 1/3, then adding  1/2 cup vodka, allowing that to cook off and then adding 1/2 to 1 cup heavy cream makes a quick and delicious sauce for one lb. pasta.  This should be served with generous amounts of grated parmigiano on the side (yeah, yeah, I mean Reggiano).

Happy eating. Then happy exercising.  And happy dieting.  Really, this is a once-in-a-while dish.

[Balloons from Network Resources}

Slow Dancing-My Top Ten?

Not long ago, I mentioned to a friend that I had started taking dance lessons.  Trust me, there's a long way to go before I take my newfound skills public.

My friend commented that the only dance she could do was slow dance, because you didn't have to actually move your feet.  This led to a discussion of what the best slow dance music was.  I thought the top song would be "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers.

There are a lot of ways to skin that cat.  Nothing as easy as Googling "best slow dances" or "slow dance music".  First, it depends on your generation what you consider good music.  There were lists on which I didn't recognize any of the artists.  Lists for those with country music tastes.  Lists for top requested wedding songs, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind. A lot of the websites for slow dance music are wedding planner sites, or party DJ sites.

Here's one list from Music by Mark - Professional DJ Service:

1)  What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong
2)  Through the Years by Kenny Rodgers
3)  Close to You by The Carpenters
4)  Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton
5)  Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers
6)  Unforgettable by Nat King Cole
7)  Tonight I Celebrate My Love by Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack
8)  Three Times a Lady by The Commodores
9)  Sea of Love by the Honeydrippers
10) Only You by The Platters

The list goes on and on.  Some Country, some Sinatra, more Righteous Brothers, and Elvis.   I like "What a Wonderful World", but I don't think it's in my top ten.  I don't like Kenny Rogers, so that's out. No Celine Dion, either. I was never crazy about The Carpenters, and can never hear their music without thinking of Karen dying from anorexia.  I'll leave "Wonderful Tonight" on my top ten list.It's a great song.  I saw one list that included "Tears in Heaven", but that song was Clapton's tribute to his dead son...not good slow dance music to my mind. Toni Braxton's "Unchain My Heart" shows up later on the list.  I like that one.

Here's an alphabetical list from Frugal Bride.com.  Another list, (long one) from DJ Madman Mike. Here's another from Pop Culture Madness.

My list (as of this moment):

1)  Unchained Melody The Righteous Brothers
2)  Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton
3)  Sea of Love by The Honeydrippers
4)  Killing Me Softly by Roberta Flack
5)  Unchain My Heart by Toni Braxton
6)  I'm Sorry by Brenda Lee
7)  Fever by Peggy Lee
8)  Love Hurts by Roy Orbison
9)  Since I Fell for You by Lenny Welch
10) Always on My Mind by Willy Nelson

This is a work in progress.  As soon as I post this, two or three great songs will pop unbidden into my head.  And the ones I left off but could easily bump  some on the list:

Chances Are by Johnny Mathis
Only the Lonely or Running Scared by Roy Orbison
Crazy by Patsy Cline
The Rose by Bette Midler
The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face by Roberta Flack
Never My Love or Cherish by The Association
Smoke Gets In Your Eyes by The Platters
We've Got Tonight by Bob Seeger
I'm Sorry by Brenda Lee
Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O'Connor
Fever by Peggy Lee

Hummingbird

by Dorianne Laux

We buried the hummingbird
in his mantle of light, buried
him deep in the loam, one eye
staring into the earth's fiery
core, the other up through
the door in the sky. His needle
beak pointed east, his curled
feet west, and we each touched
our fingertips to his breast
before lifting them up from
the darkness to kiss. And
from our blessed fists we
rained the powdery dirt
down, erasing the folded
wings, the dream-colored
head, tamping the torn grass
with the heels of our hands,
our bare feet, summer almost
over, swaying together on the great
ship of death as clouds sailed by,
blowing our hair and the wind
walked us back to our room.

[Via Poetry Daily]

What Do Retired People Do All Day

Normally, I avoid issues having to do with politics or religion.  If you know me, you know my views.  If you don't, you don't need to.

On the other hand, I love to share things that make me laugh.   This, from L.C. who is slowly wresting this blog from me, is reprinted unabridged. 

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Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to  make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day I went down town and went into a  shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there  was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break"? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having  worn tires.So I called him a shithead. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with  the first. Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came down town on the bus and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said "Bush."  I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired.

[Image via Fotosearch]

Cat-astrophe Averted

I have good news and bad news:

I recently did a post about the plight of 45 cats in Northern Minnesota that were being taken from the home of a cat hoarder and were going to be euthenized (nice euphemism, that). I never knew the expression "cat hoarder" though I have heard it a lot recently.  Apparently this same hoarder had previously had 25 cats removed rom her home to a shelter.

The bad news:  I don't get to take my road trip or make my Sundance-Festival-award-winning heartwarming indie film about a plucky woman driving a Winnebago full of cats a thousand miles.  Oh well, there'll be other opportunites, I'm sure.

Last Hope, Inc. of Dakota County, Minnesota, too twenty cats.  Several others are going to a veterinary hospital, and the rest are being fostered until they get permanent homes or until there is room at the shelter for them.  None of the cats is going to be euthanized.

The Star of the North Humane Society in Itasca County, Minnesota first put out the plea for help last week.  Gloria heard it and immediately started networking.  One plan included  bringing all the cats to the Caboodle Ranch in North Florida, where Craig Grant had agreed to accept them.  Transporting the cats would have been an issue in itself, but became huge when it became apparent that each cat would require a health certificate, and that they might have to meet the requirements of each state that they were going to pass through.

Meanwhile, a couple of newspaper stories and a radio interview generated some notice.  I was copied an email from a volunteer at the  Itasca County shelter.  Here's an excerpt:

"I have interviewed with both the Pioneer Press and WCCO radio since last evening, and received numerous calls with pledges of support for these cats and kittens since the article has hit the paper.  The radio interview hasn't aired yet, so I'm hoping the support continues.  We have never experienced such an outpouring of generosity, so we are feeling a little overwhelmed - but we love that people from all over the state are reaching out to help save these animals, and really to save our shelter.  We were doomed to close, or be closed, any day.

I think we will make our goal of saving all of these cats and kittens, and survive ourselves as well!  And along the way, we are meeting wonderful people who we will continue to network with, and hope to extend a helping hand back to in the future, since we are all working together for the same goals."

I had pledged a donation to Caboodle Ranch to help these cats.  Since Caboodle Ranch isn't getting the cats, I am splitting that donation thusly:

25% to Star of the North  (go here for their donation form)
25% to the Caboodle Ranch
25% to my long-time favorite charity, Cedarhill Animal Sanctuary
25% to my local shelter.

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Sanctuary:  A place of refuge or asylum.

I hope there's one there when I need it.

[Image via Charitable Choices]