I ordered Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert, Professor of Psychology at Harvard after hearing a couple of interviews on the radio. I'm glad I did.
While it hasn't changed my life in any profound ways, the book made me laugh a lot, something I never take for granted, and am always grateful for. And it did give me some interesting insight into what motivates us.
Each chapter begins with a pertinent quote from our man Shakespeare, which is pretty cool too.
We are all driven by the desire for happiness, usually for our future selves. Thus, much of what we do in the present doesn't make us happy in the present, unless we are about two years old. We do it in service of our future selves, who, when they look back at the present (later the past), will probably not appreciate the pains we take and the decisions we make in the here and now.
Our ability to look at the present or the past is not only not objective, it is very much colored by what we believe or feel today. Our brains fill in blanks in our memories, so that what we remember only dimly resembles what actually happened, even though the memory may be vivid, and we are certain of its veracity. Our view of the future is built by our imaginations, quite unreliably as well, and is based on how we feel today. One example is that after eating a huge meal, we can't fathom what it feels like to be hungry, and can believe that we will be hungry the next day, or even later the same day, we are so stuffed. This also explains all the lifetime gym memberships bought by people who are sure today they will lift weights for a lifetime, becoming buff and beautiful. I know I've done that a time or two... The present is defining the future. But, of course, it's wrong.
Gilbers supports his premises with psychological studies, which are by and large fascinating. He sprinkles his narrative with examples and comments that are totally loony. I laughed until I teared up a number of times.
He talks quite a bit about how the brain works behind the scenes. And how it fools each of us. Regularly and reliably. It's amazing to read, and explains so much. About me. About you. About them.
In the end, he tells us something we can do to make ourselves considerably more happy. He says we don't do it because we don't believe it will work--because each of us believes we are unique. But I think that oversimplifies it. I think we also don't do it because it is not as simple as stated. But no, I am not going to tell you what will enhance our happiness (but what we don't do even when we know). I read the book to get there, and so should you.
It's worth it. I gained a lot of insight and some laughs. A great deal for the investment in time and money.
If that doesn't work, we can always resort to warm puppies, bluebirds and warm guns.
[Bluebird from The Stanford Dish; puppy from Petmeister]
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