If a cat may look at a king, may a dog not look to God? Indeed.
If he did, here's what he might say.
Dear God:
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell each other?
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? or is it still the same old story.
Why are there cars named for the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, the
rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We, on the
other hand, love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers,
scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
God, let me give you a list of some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it, or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead sea gulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. I will not munch on leftovers from the litterbox, even though they are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a facecloth. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in the car for Mom's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he is on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose in someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying "hello".
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
12. I must shake the rainwater out of my coat before coming into the house.
13. I will not throw up in the car. (But where?)
14. I will not enter the house and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
16. The cat is not a "squeaky toy" so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it is not good.
And God, how come humans only have ten Commandments but dogs have sixteen?
Finally, God, when I get to Heaven, can I have my testicles back?
Rover
[Images from Mooseyscountrygarden.com]
[from Jackie, via RR]
LOL Thanks, what a hoot!
Posted by: keewee | April 29, 2006 at 02:28 PM