And More Boners

From Alexander Abingdon's The Boners Omnibus and the Second Boners Omnibus.  Written work by schoolchildren.

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Robinson Caruso was a great singer who lived on an island.

Abraham Lincoln was born in a little log cabin which he helped his father to build.

Ptolemy was a Greek scientist who discovered the cause of ptomaine poisoning.

Booth Tarkington was the assassin of Abraham Lincoln.

Dick Turpin suffered capital punishment twelve times but managed to survive.

Xantippe was the inspiration of Socrates' philosophy which is that no man knows anything.

Socrates

Acrimony is what a man gives his divorced wife.

A chamois is a fleet-footed animal used for washing windows in the mountains of South America.

Chamois

Christian Science is when they cure you and you ain't there by thinking good things about you even
if there ain't any.

Heredity means if your grandfather didn't hae any children, then your father probably wouldn't have had any, and neither would you, probably.

A mugwump is a bird that sits on the fence with its mug on one side and its wump on the other.

Parallelopipeds are animals with parallel feet.

A philanderer is a person who gives money freely to charitable and needy institutions.

A seminary is a place where they bury the dead.

A terrapin is an angel of the highest order.

Terrapin

Comments

[Armaedes]

Some of this stuff is really good. I especially like the Abraham Lincoln and seminary ones. Those made me laugh.