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September 11, 2005



I too met Billy Collins on "The Writer's Almanac" one morning at 6:30 am, when it is aired here. (In fact, that show is what prompts me to get out of bed on many days!) Keillor's website is wonderful to relive all of the shows and to search poetry.

Here's one from Tuesday, March 12, 2002. Enjoy.

Poem: "The History Teacher," by Billy Collins from Questions About Angels (University of Pittsburgh Press).

The History Teacher

Trying to protect his students' innocence
he told them the Ice Age was really just
the Chilly Age, a period of a million years
when everyone had to wear sweaters.

And the Stone Age became the Gravel Age,
named after the long driveways of the time.

The Spanish Inquisition was nothing more
than an outbreak of questions such as
"How far is it from here to Madrid?"
"What do you call the matador's hat?"

The War of the Roses took place in a garden,
and the Enola Gay dropped one tiny atom
on Japan.

The children would leave his classroom
for the playground to torment the weak
and the smart,
mussing up their hair and breaking their glasses,

while he gathered up his notes and walked home
past flower beds and white picket fences,
wondering if they would believe that soldiers
in the Boer War told long, rambling stories
designed to make the enemy nod off.

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