This has been done before, but keeps adding subtlety and depth...
Democratic:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful
Barbra Streisand sings for you.
Republican:
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?
Socialist:
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
Communist:
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
Capitalism, American Style:
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull and build a herd of cows.
Bureaucracy, American Style:
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program, the government pays you to shoot one,
Milk the other,
And then pours the milk down the drain.
American Corporation:
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself, and do an IPO on the second one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating
That you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
French Corporation:
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.
Japanese Corporation:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow,
And produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
German Corporation:
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation a year.
Italian Corporation:
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.
Russian Corporation:
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Russian Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
Taliban Corporation:
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the U.S. government to find alternatives
to milk production, but use the money to buy weapons.
Iraqui Corporation:
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing to Al Jazeera.
Polish Corporation:
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
Belgian Corporation:
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks she's French, other times she's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control fo the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.
Florida Corporation:
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the better looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best
Accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out of state tell you
Which one you think is the best looking cow.
California Corporation:
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
ROTFLMAO! Too, too true! I've added you to my blogroll.
Posted by: fragileindustries | October 01, 2005 at 02:35 PM