In the Headlights

Prairie Home Movie

A couple of months ago, a friend asked me if I wanted to join a group to see "The Rhubarb Tour", A Prairie Home Companion's travelling show.  Understand, please, that it takes a crowbar to persuade me to go to anything that involves a large crowd, so when I say it took me only the time to make sure I was free to say yes, that says a lot about how I feel about the performers.

Interestingly, the Rhubarb Tour was not recorded for broadcast. 

I listen to part of PHC pretty much every week, usually in my car, but it has been years since I made a point to tune in.  I may not seek it out, but when our paths have crossed, it has never failed to entertain. I am well acquainted with "It was a quiet week in Lake Wobegon", Guy Noir, the ketchup advisory board, and the resident cast of characters.

We went to dinner, then drove to the theater in the pouring rain.  In spite of the miserable weather, the theater was filled (like every seat) with enthusiastic people (of course, we don't get much in the way of live entertainment in this burg).  But the soaked crowd had no complaints.

I have to say the time flew.  Dominant on the stage were Garrison Keillor (natch), the beautiful Sue Scott who not only played all the women's parts with virtuosity (OK, she sounded the same in each part, but was highly entertaining.), but also sang like an angel, both solo and in duets with  GK.

The Guy's All Star Shoe Band acquitted themselves beautifully as well, as a group and in solo turns.

The last member of the core group was Fred Newman, he of the incredible sound effects.  This man can make just about any sound with no props.  Most of the sounds he made imitated bodily functions, which was a little disappointing, but impressive, nonetheless.  Everyone left the theater with a smile on his (yeah, or her) face.  The skits, the music, the monolog, it all resonated with something deep in our souls.

So...why am I writing about it now?  It seems that there will be a movie about PHC, directed by Robert Altman.  So what happens when two veteran showmen, both known for playing fast and loose with a script, come together on a project (starring Meryl Streep -good, Lily Tomlin-also good, and Lindsay Lohan--what the...)?  Probably nothing good.  Certainly nothing I want to put my hard-earned money on...not to mention the cost of popcorn.

I have seen a couple of Altman movies, always with optimism.  I can't say they have lived up to my expectations.  According to an article by Christopher Porterfield in TIME magazine, Keillor had envisioned a film about Lake Wobegon, and Altman wanted to do make a movie about the show itself, with all the action on or around the stage.  I have no problem with that per se, but there seem to be opposing visions here. I do know enough to see a clash of the titans when I run smack dab into one.   I have enough misgivings about this that I think I will stay home and watch reruns of The Daily Show.

If you have enough curiosity to be one of the 5 people who sees this in the theater, please let me know what you think.

Fante's Kitchenwares

Next time you are looking for a hard-to-find kitchen item, why not check out Fante's Kitchenware Shop.  You are almost guaranteed to leave having ordered more than you were looking for.  But hey, that's a good thing, 'cause you'll have it when you need it.

Fantes is an actual store in Philadelphia, and their site includes maps, traffic tips, weather tips and sightseeing recommendations, just for starters.  The kitcheware section has everything from Aebleskiver pans to zesters, passing through truffle slicers and Mongolian fire pots.  They have tutorials on how to use the equipment, and, of course, great recipes.  So if you really want to surprise the chef in your family, look here for some neat thing they never knew they couldn't live without (besides you).

A few years ago, just about everyone I knew got a Romertopf terracotta roaster for Christmas, after I discovered  how delicious and crispy bread was when made in this baker. I was unable to find them in the size I wanted anywhere else. You soak the pot it in water first, and that crisps up the dough so it comes out soft and moist on the inside and crispy on the outside.  The dough is really easy too--just mix everything together, no kneading or pounding...yum...I think it's time I made some again...(see recipe below).

In addition, they carry my favorite wine stopper.  You slip it over the top of the wine bottle, and when you press the lever down, the inner rubber collar expands to form a tight seal.  I love wine, but no, I don't drink a bottle in one sitting.  This stopper actually allows you to put the bottle on its side (in that thing in your refrigerator designed just for that, that otherwise just occupies space nothing else will fit in).  No leaks, ever, and I have had mine for several years.  $3.49 at Fantes.

And if you love your knives, they carry several lines of premium knives. One of the neat things here, though is the Fante's Pro line of knives.  They have the same high carbon steel composition and Rockwell hardness scale as the Wusthoff Classic line, riveted handles and are also made in Solingen, Germany.  So if you are a Henckel's or Wusthof fan, your money will go a lot farther, and you will be just as happy with a set of Fante's knives.

Well, I could go on and on, but that's enough for now.  You'll just have to check it out and find out for yourself.

Just try not to get too carried away.

Bread recipe-adapted from Julian Street's French Brick-oven Bread (in The Clay-Pot Cookbook, by Georgia MacLeod Sales & Grover Sales)

Combine 1/2 cup of milk and 1 1/4  cup of water, add 1 1/2 tbsp. vegetable shortening, and microwave until lukewarm.  Add 1 1/2 tbsp. sugar, and 1 package of yeast, and allow to start frothing while you put 4 cups of all-purpose flour  (room temperature, otherwise, stick that in the microwave to take the chill off) and 2 tsp. salt in a large bowl.

  Add liquids to the flour mix and stir thoroughly.  Do not knead.  Place dough in a well greased bowl (I usually leave it in the same bowl--the shortening keeps it from sticking too badly, and you will shape it after you take it out anyway). Cover with a damp cloth and place in a warm spot until doubled in bulk.

Soak clay pot or pots (do you want one big loaf or two small ones?) in warm water for about 15 minutes.  Place a piece of folded and flattened aluminum foil in the bottom of the pan to keep the bread from sticking on the ridges.  Put the dough in the soaked pot, tuck the rough side on the bottom, smooth side up.  Put the lid on and allow to sit until doubled in bulk, about 1 hour.

Put the covered pot in a cold oven, and turn the temperature to 525 degrees (yes, 525, not a typo).  Bake for 45 minutes, removing the lid for the last 5 minutes to form a golden-brown crust. The hardest thing is to pull the aluminum foil out of the bottom of the loaf before serving, but it is better than not using it at all. Serve with butter, or jam, or cheese, and see if it lasts more than a day.

Cedar Hill Sanctuary

Watching endless coverage of devastation and misery in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.  The abnormal number and ferocity of the hurricanes in the last few years has been attributed to abnormally high water temperatures in the Atlantic Ocean and the Gulf of Mexico.  This may be just the beginning...

I was a little north of Andrew in 1992, and last year was east of 4 hurricanes that devastated my bretheren in western Florida.  This is getting to be tedious.  While other areas of the country are subject to their own natural disasters, I begin to think that the odds might be better somewhere else...

By the by, no postings from Mississippi blogger Shawn Zehnder Lea.  Her last posting yesterday morning was that the end of their house had just been hit by a neighbor's tree.  Best of luck, Shawn. Hope you have good insurance and a generator, though if you have a generator, you would probably use some of the power to let the world know you are OK.  After Andrew, my husband and I had to drive 200 miles north of Miami to buy a generator and chain saw.  Everything closer was sold out.

  Also concerned about an animal sanctuary in Caledonia, Mississippi.  I first heard about Cedarhill Animal Sanctuary a couple of years ago during a short piece on a morning news show.  This non-profit organization rescues and cares for abused, neglected and abandoned cats--lions, tigers, cougars and leopards.  In addition, they provide homes for domestic cats, dogs, potbellied pigs, and most recently, a couple of blind horses. Most of these animals were bought by humans as cute babies, and later abandoned or neglected as they got big and hard to manage.

At this point, I am very concerned about how they fared in this hurricane. Problems faced by people would be compounded when you need to refrigerate hundreds of pounds of meat as well as provide clean water and medications for this many animals, probably in the absence of power and running water.

In addition, to feeding and housing over 200 animals, they arrange for very expensive veterinary care.

Executive Director Kay McElroy and her staff go the extra mile loving and caring for these animals.

Why do I talk about animals in the face of the human devastation from Hurricane Katrina?  Because in times of natural disaster, money rolls in to charities that care for humans and tends to dry up to those that care for animals.  When you open your purse to give, please give a little extra---for the animals.

1400 EDT.Addendum.  Just got a call back from Kay McElroy.  They had a lot of trees downed, and extensive wind and water damage.  They have no electricity. All the food for the animals has spoiled.  (Except that a pear tree came down---that will provide a generous supply of food for the pot-bellied pigs). Kay said the tigers greeted the storm as if it were a giant shower-party, running around and frolicking like kittens.

At this point, they are awaiting the arrival of a generator, and rely on day to day deliver of food. All the animals and people survived unscathed.  They could sure use some help getting through this crisis--please think of them as you give to help hurricane victims.

Patricia Cornwell

There has been quite a bit in the media lately about Patricia Cornwell's obsession with the Jack the Ripper case.  So much so that Ms. Cornwell recently took out full-page ads in two London papers, "The Independent" and "The Guardian" denying such an obsession.  (Methinks the lady doth protest too much.) Ms. Cornwell has been a very successful and prolific writer, but pinning down the identity of the murderer in what is arguably the world's best-known unsolved murder would surely earn her a place in history, adding to the fame and wealth she has already garnered.  Ms. Cornwell argues that artist Walter Sickert had the temperment as well as opportunity to butcher at least 5 prostitutes in the 1888 Whitehall murderfest.  In addition, she uses handwriting analysis and mitochondrial DNA samples found on envelopes to support her theory.

I read "Portrait of a Killer" when it came out, and found myself persuaded that Ms. Cornwell had found her man.  I did not find the book partularly well-written (the opposite, in fact), but felt that she put together a convincing argument. This is, of course in the face of the fact that much of the evidence of the crimes was mangled by the people and police at the time.  It is entirely likely that there will never be a "smoking gun" piece of evidence that unequivocally ends doubt about this murderer. So Walter Sickert replaces my previous favorite suspect, Prince Albert, son of Victoria and Albert.

I used to be a big fan of Patricia Cornwell's, and remember the chills that accompanied her early Kay Scarpetta novels, like Cruel and Unusual. The first 3 or 4 novels were tightly crafted, fast paced and scary as hell.  Then, I guess she succumbed to the bug that affects so many successful authors, and started pumping out books of lower quality at a faster pace.  I am certain that in publishing, once you are established, that is the way to riches. In any case, Kay went from being Chief M.E. for Virginia to hunting murderers (and being hunted by them) all over the world, in an increasingly more unlikely series of plots (and amours).

I must admit that in those early days, I did not live alone, so that the terror I felt at reading about the horrific events in her books was mitigated.  I know better than to set myself up that way now that I live alone.  It is hard enought to get a good night's sleep without adding something really creepy to the list of things to think about at 3 A.M.  I no longer deliberately get involved in books or movies that will terrify me or make me cry (at least cry hard).

Segue: If you want to get really creeped out, read Thomas Harris's Red Dragon.  This masterpiece of horror was written before Silence of the Lambs and introduces the redoubtable Hannibal Lechter as a character.  I saw the first movie version (Manhunter) on TV.  Have not seen the remake.  My advice:  Read the book.

Crosswords

I'm a big crossword puzzle fan, so this seems like a good place to start. 

I do the two in my daily paper, usually without a glitch, and pick up the weekly Folio Weekly, Northeast Florida's News and Opinion Magazine.  It includes many fine comics, op-ed pieces and columns, including "News of the Weird".

Best of all, though is that they feature puzzles by my favorite constructor, Merl Reagle.   Merl makes the sunday crossword for "The San Francisco Examiner" and is widely syndicated.  His puzzles are smart, funny, topical, and always fair (okay, almost always).  If you try his puzzles, though, I caution you always to read the theme at the top--this will make your life much easier.

I have bought all of Merl's collections to date--11 of them.  That way I don't have to wait a week in between getting my fix.

You can try one of Mr. Reagle's puzzles, or order his books--they come autographed for $11.00 apiece, including shipping here.

This picture of Merl was taken at the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament.  I attended this a few years ago, and had the pleasure of meeting Merl and a number of other well-known constructors.  This tournament takes place in Stamford, Connecticut every year in March, hosted by Will Shortz, crossword puzzle editor for the New York Times, and puzzlemaster on NPRs Weekend Edition. Mr. Shortz holds the only known degree in enigmatology.

Caveat:  Many of these folks are not just there as constructors, but as contestants, so you have a snowflake's chance of winning this competition. However, in addition to the grand prize, there are many smaller prizes based on age, geographical area, previous experience and overall standing.

The tournament involves a series of timed puzzles (think SATs) of varying size and difficulty.  Scores are based on accuracy and time, and new rankings are posted daily.

For those who are curious but just don't want to make the arduous trek just to be humiliated, you can test yourself in the privacy of your own home.  For $20, after the contest is over, they will send you the puzzles.  You fill them out and send them back.  You have to time yourself, or stop when the allotted time is up (be honest, now, or what's the point).  They will return the puzzles , graded, with copies of the right answers, and a listing of where you would rank in appropriate categories.

I have done this for several years now.  I know I woudn't win enough money to pay for the trip, so I do it in the comfort of my home. 

Comfort Foods

I come from a family of good cooks.  My maternal grandmother was half French and half Belgian; my mom grew up in Frankfurt, Germany.  Me, I'm a mutt, but like to think I learned the best these wonderful women could teach me.  This recipe has been in the top two or three requests at every family get-together, and makes me popular, at least for a while, if I offer to cook.

Macaroni and Cheese Casserole. Caveat Emptor: If your arteries are hard, don't even think about it. 

Start with equal weights of macaroni, rigatoni, ziti or other pasta with holes, and cheese.   I.e., one lb. of cellentani gets one lb. of cheese.  When we were kids, Mom would send us to the store to get cheese ends from the deli.  The guy at the counter would save the ends and we'd get a bag full of cheese of all kinds, take it home, grate it and make this dish.  From scratch, I make this dish with emmenthaler or Austrian Swiss (? oxymoron, all you teachers out there?) mixed with gruyere. 

Put a big pot of salted water on the stove to boil, and while it boils and the pasta cooks to al dente, grate the cheese and grease a baking dish. 

Here is my cheese grater.  It makes short work of grating any kind of cheese, including Parmigiano Reggiano and other hard, crumbly cheeses.  In fact, at my house, when the grater is washed, it goes right back on the mixer. Using any other kind of grater, it is a good policy to have your kids or husband grate the cheese for you.

Meanwhile, grease a casserole dish.  If you use a deep one, you will get a moist, rich result, a shallow one results in a crusty, equally delicious dish. You can grease the dish with butter which adds a dimension, or chicken out an put a thin layer of oil over the surface. 

When the pasta is al dente, drain it.  Put about 1/3 of it in the baking dish, and cover with 1/3 of the cheese.  Repeat X 2.  Dot about 2 tbsp. butter around the top, and pour a cup of heavy cream over the top.  Bake it at 325 degrees for about an hour (or until golden brown on top--less time for a shallow casserole).  If baked too fast, the cream doesn't evaporate, and you don't get those coveted cheese strings. 

When we were kids, Mom would put a layer of spinach or broccoli in the middle (to make us eat our vegetables), and would slice a can of Spam and put a layer under the top layer of cheese.  I have to tell you, it was heaven...Serve with:

Basic Tomato Sauce

This sauce doesn't have to simmer, so you can make it in 10 minutes.  In a saute pan, heat about 2 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil to medium temperature.  Add a minced shallot, or two cloves garlic, minced, and stir until translucent, but not yet turning brown.  Add a large (14 oz.) can of diced plum tomatoes.  Season with salt, pepper, and fresh basil and oregano.  Serve on the side with the casserole.

Variations are endless. 

-Adding a little heavy cream to this sauce makes an elegant blush sauce to serve over plain pasta. 

-Sauteed pancetta or chopped bacon, lightly browned and drained before adding the shallot or garlic, also makes a very nice, robust sauce for a main dish.

-Reducing the sauce (made with garlic) by about 1/3, then adding  1/2 cup vodka, allowing that to cook off and then adding 1/2 to 1 cup heavy cream makes a quick and delicious sauce for one lb. pasta.  This should be served with generous amounts of grated parmigiano on the side (yeah, yeah, I mean Reggiano).

Happy eating. Then happy exercising.  And happy dieting.  Really, this is a once-in-a-while dish.