Andrea sent me a sweet little book for Christmas. How to Massage Your Cat, written and illustrated by Alice M. Brock.
If Alice M. Brock sounds familiar to you, it is because she was the Alice in Arlo Guthrie's Alice's Restaurant. His comment on the back, "This book is a revelation, it really works. Great for pet owners, but a must for parents."
It includes advice like "Place thumbs behind ears and lock fingers securely behind the chin, raise cat 8 to 9 inches above table and shake energetically," and "stand squarely in front of cat and grasp it firmly by both ears, press firmly back until you hear the click..."
My cats would have to be very relaxed to let me do any of this. Under general anesthesia, in fact.
This spoof of "how to" books is very short, and adorably illustrated, with large hands and a bemused but docile cat.
Don't try this at home...or anywhere else!
[Image from Best Book Buys]