These are supposed to help you manage your stress.
-Always keep your words soft and sweet, in case you have to eat them.
-Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
-If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
-If you lend someone $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it.
-It may be that your sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others (or as RR used to say, as a horrible example).
-Never put both your feet in your mouth at the same time, you'll be left without a leg to stand on.
-The second mouse gets the cheese.
-When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
-Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
-We can learn a lot from crayons. Some are pretty, some are sharp, some are dull. Some have weird names, and all have different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
-A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.