Yesterday, I was at my locker and went to open it. For some reason, the combination eluded me.
Now, bear in mind that I have had this lock on this locker for 13 years now, and that before that, that lock was on a locker or chain, or something somewhere else that I opened on a regular basis. But for some reason, I made the mistake of thinking about the number instead of just turning the dial. And concentrating on it made it totally evaporate. I wound up having to look the combination up in my PDA.
This never fails to alarm me. If by saying that, I tip you off that this has happened before, well, yes, indeed it has. Mostly when I actually try to think of a well known number. It has happened with my PIN# at the ATM machine, and even with my Social Security Number. I try to think of them and they're gone, replaced by all kinds of digits appearing from God knows where in my murky past.
Sometimes, I dial the phone without thinking, assuming my brain will guide me to the right well-known phone number. The other day, at 6:15 AM, I was driving to work and called them to say I was stuck in traffic and would be a little late. Imagine my surprise (and his) when I heard my father's sleep-slurred voice on the other end. And I have paged my best friend at work only to have my boss answer. These are not necessarily terrible things, but they do set you back a bit...
This always shakes me up a bit and makes me wonder if I have incipient Alzheimer's. Or garden variety senile dementia. Wouldn't matter much to me which, now would it?
I like to think that some of the minutia in our brains gets crowded out for more important stuff (minutia--my SSN!?) in some kind of cerebral house-cleaning. But who the heck decides what gets dumped? And for what?
Guess I'll keep reading and doing puzzles of all kinds and keep those demons at bay. I like to believe that that will ward them off. And keep me entertained in the meantime.
I'm sure y'all will let me know when I go around the bend...
Meanwhile, for your entertainment, here is a link to a post I did on a wonderful poem that gets right to the heart of this problem: Forgetfulness by Billy Collins.
(Someone sent me this a while back: One out of four people has some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're OK, then it's you.)
Actually all the years of pouring information into our brain has just plain filled it up to over flowing, and some information has spilled out, at least, that is my excuse.
Posted by: keewee | February 21, 2006 at 08:42 PM
You really had to post all the time while I was away, didn't you, just so I'd have to stay up all night to catch up!
In fact, I'm happy to be back online, and enjoying the read :)
Posted by: Scholiast | February 25, 2006 at 06:26 PM